[07 Jan 2010|12:38am] bemyfryguy20 long distance friendships have officially proven themselves... heartbreaking. post comment

Current Mood: [06 Jan 2010|04:31pm] ehh_soso post comment

[06 Jan 2010|01:01pm] evilp0ptart oh si si si!!!!!! I'm twenty two and I can feel it in my bones. No longer a wee one. That's okay, I feel amazing. I'm gunna sew and sew and sew in till my fingers cramp and I get arthritis. ( 2010 phonepicz!! ) 5 comments|post comment

Thank you for your payment. Bitch. [05 Jan 2010|01:46pm] ehh_soso I weighed myself on two different scales today and both have concluded that I've lost weight in some way. I'm pretty sure it is the loss of my muscle mass that has resulted in this number differentiation. For the first time, ever, I resent this weight loss and thus motivated to hit the gym for improvements. Haha. I finally got rid of the most horrific picture of myself by renewing my license. The thing cost $49.50 which is ridiculous compared to the $27 it used to cost. I'm currently attempting to save money and instead, everything that is essential to my living is draining me of my finances. Blah blah blah. Spring 2010 begins tomorrow. It's sort of a relief that I'm not graduating in May because I don't feel ready, yet it's bittersweet because it would be nice to graduate with my friends. Oh well. I've decided to apply to Columbia and NYU for grad school and/or internship, in the hopes that I will obtain many scholarships to pay my way through. Wish me luck. That is all the rambling I have for today. -Leron 3 comments|post comment

Can someone please buy me this...? [03 Jan 2010|09:42am] ehh_soso It's only $1,895...ridic. post comment

1/1/10 [01 Jan 2010|09:43pm] ehh_soso I missed him beyond words. In 5 months he's graduating and leaving. What the fuck am I going to do? I just feel like curling up in a fetal position and crying. The semester is coming too soon and I sincerely miss my family. Being a female is such a punishment sometimes, it really is. -Leron 3 comments|post comment

Summary. [30 Dec 2009|07:25am] ehh_soso ( Twenty Zero 9. ) 2009 taught me that life is too short and people come and fade away and time eases the pain but never really diminishes it. Happy 2010. post comment

[27 Dec 2009|11:25pm] bemyfryguy20 ( What is invisible and smells like carrots? ) 2 comments|post comment

[25 Dec 2009|12:05pm] bemyfryguy20 ( twenty+one ) 10 comments|post comment

Merry what? [24 Dec 2009|09:13pm] ehh_soso I've had so much anxiety the past few days for some reason. I'm not sure where this is all sprouting fun because I should be the least anxious out of any part of the year at this time. Eh. You know...it didn't really bother me that much that I'm not with my family during "the holidays"...I'm actually content being completely alone right now. Life can be so exhausting with so many people entering and exiting it on a daily basis...I've just grown to become a huge fan of my alone time, my isolation. I'd actually prefer it over hanging out with friends nowadays. Sad right? I'm just so tired of starting new relationships with people that are just going to float on the surface of my life and never really have an impact. It seems meaningless and like a waste of time. The past few days have been weird for some reason...besides my overworked sense of anxiety I keep being entirely too nostalgic of all of the old traditions, routines, etc that used to occur in my household growing up. I really miss waking up in my bedroom weekend mornings and having breakfast with my mom and dad. It's sad that as life progresses, families grow apart. It's sad that as a teenager you take everything, especially your parents, for granted. I regret so much of when I was a teenager. I feel like I was so disrespectful and unappreciative of everything I had. If I had known this is what my life would be like down the road, I would NOT have been that stupid little bitch I used to be. I feel guilty for this every single fucking day. And now...now I feel incredibly helpless. My mom is the most depressed I have ever seen her. I don't even know who she is anymore. She cries all the time and is constantly victimizing herself and telling me and my sisters we are selfish and relying on us to make her happy. I am the kind of person that needs to have complete control over everything around me and to not have control over this situation and no fucking clue what to do, it sucks. It kills me. If I had all the money in the world I would give my mom everything she ever wanted. Life is really such a bitch. I'm done. -Leron 1 comment|post comment

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